GUIDES TO LIFE and LITTLE GRIEFS

Though I was in data processing back in the late 60’s when the “tiny minded” computer was as big as a refrigerator, I still have to keep that hard copy “just in case”. I was going through and organizing the files of essays I’ve written and I found slotted just behind them, a folder I’ve had for years, a folder titled “Guides to Life!”  - note that exclamation point.  Perhaps I marked it that way to signal to anyone in the future who’d have to go through and clean out my files: “This is some good stuff.” 

The oldest article, Lessons from Aunt Grace, dates back to a Reader’s Digest from 1984. The wonderful essay, written by Nardi Reeder Campion, and later included in a compendium of life lessons called Chicken Soup for the Single’s Soul, was a lesson in how to conduct a simple, fulfilling life. 

 

 

The latest article, by former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, is from Time magazine in 2010, and is “an essay exclusively adapted for Time from his new memoir.”  He was writing about the American Presidents he’s known and about our country. The one line I thought outstanding was this one about the American ideal, our optimism and achievement: “There is always one…test of a nation’s position: Are people trying to get into it, or to get out of it? I think we know the answer to that in America’s case, and that ideal is the reason.”  Wonderful comment, don’t you think?

In these past few years, unlike with my own works that I’ve got to safeguard on paper – talk about an obsession! – I’ve also amassed a larger, but maybe less selective and less important group of articles bookmarked on line. To paraphrase the saying about books: so many articles, so much information for an information junkie; so little time.”

The printed articles I’ve collected – I counted them, there are only a dozen in the folder – are on such subjects as nice ways to say no, choosing the right words to help you help others, how to write effective letters, and how one woman shed her shame and obsession about her body. (I really related to that one.)

At this point, the most interesting to me of those saved articles is one from Woman’s Day in 1994 titled “Little Griefs.”  If you’re a regular follower of this blog you might have read the essay I called “Smashing”.  That one concerned big griefs and big beefs.  Little griefs, this old article says, also deserve rituals: perhaps not the big deals required for a death or a divorce, but small, personally designed ceremonies.

 

Such rituals, whether or not they have an audience, and usually they don’t, provide comfort and solace when little griefs, like the death of a pet, the loss of a treasured item, or even having your feelings hurt, strike home. “Feelings need acknowledgement, and will pester us when we give them their due.”  The old rhyme of “Sticks and stones may break my bones…” can be wrong: names can harm people.  Having a personal ritual to help dispel little griefs is an excellent idea.  Wouldn’t it be a nice idea to work with a child on their own grief-dispelling ritual? That’s something you could give them to help carry them all through life. 
 

I just may work on a little ritual of my own.

 

 

INQUIRING MINDS

Can you see the teapot in this Magic Eye picture?

“Curiosity is one of those insatiable passions that grow by gratification.” ― Sarah Scott    

My Father was an information junkie out of necessity. He was the music librarian for G. Schirmer Inc., the music publishers, and he had to keep up with what was going on in the many worlds of music – opera, Broadway, big bands, recording, concerts, and the like.  The daily newspapers were essential to him. Not only could he read about the performances he wasn’t able to hear and see for himself, he could also keep up with the latest books and sports, news headlines, and, of course, the comics. Along with CD’s, DVD’s, HDTV, and all the latest electronics with all their alphabetic abbreviations, he would have absolutely loved the internet. 

Following in his footsteps, I am an information junkie too – just for fun. When I come upon something new I usually say “When in doubt, check it out.”  I was the owner of an Encyclopaedia Britannica, several dictionaries, a good Atlas, and many other reference books. If I couldn’t cover it at home there was always the local library. Now when I see a good documentary on the telly I often go to the internet to learn more. When I read a good novel and come upon something new to me, I go to the internet.  As a result, I’ve become a font of almost useless information, but then I did say I was an information junkie. I learn a little bit about a lot of things for my own amusement and amazement. I am chronically curious.

You never know where a little extra learning will take you – you too can be amused and amazed.  You football junkies out there – what do you know about the early history of your favorite sport?  You cooks, have you ever read up on the science of why we do what we do in the kitchen?  After the January issue of Living @ Sun City Carolina Lakes did you look up more about the Leader Dog Program?  Did you go on-line to look at any plant or seed catalogs? In February, did you look up more about Ferris Wheels? Do you know how to see what's in the Magic Eye picture above? Next week is National Library Week - take yourself to the library.  Interesting topics are all around us. Pertinent information is out there. All you need is a bit of curiosity. 

You might say that such learning it trivial – yes it is! Just think what a champ you’d be playing Trivial Pursuit. You’d know that horseshoe crabs have blue blood, that the constructed language Esperanto is spoken by up to two million people, that Ozzie and Harriet ran for 320 episodes in the 50’s and 60’s, or that Joe DiMaggio still holds the record for the longest hitting streak. You’d know that the word trivial comes from the Latin for three (tri) ways (via) – a place where roads met and people might have congregated to exchange the news and gossip of the day.

Many retirees use their computers just for emails, and maybe a bit of news and weather and on-line or comparison shopping. There’s so much more on the internet. Let your personal learning curve take a turn for the better. Acquire the habit to “check it out” on the internet.  It is official: according to the Oxford English Dictionary, google is now a verb. Liberal use of googling on Google (even Bing) will usually bring up thousands of references – you can click it and take it from there.