This morning I was
checking the statistics on my blog, and I noticed that someone had looked at
“Retreat to Your Sanctuary”. I didn’t even remember what that one was about, so
I opened it and looked. It was this one. I wrote it two and half years ago –
and still it is true. I've added a postscript at the bottom.
RETREAT TO YOUR SANCTUARY
Tuesday,
October 30, 2012
She's
gone for weeks and then she's back two days in a row - the Curmudgeon. But as I
was throwing Sunday's newspaper into the recycling I saw a headline that stopped
me with an idea for an essay.
I loved this headline in
this Sunday’s Community section of the Charlotte Observer: Outdoor Fireplaces: a hideaway in your yard. Oooh! Things are getting bad: folks on the lam are searching for
hideaways. And what about those “bedroom retreats”, and “adult sanctuaries”? What
I want to know is from what are some folks fleeing? Why do they have
to retreat? Why must they hide away? Are things getting so bad that
instead of sending recalcitrant kids to their rooms the parents flee to their
own? Are things getting so bad that folks must flee from the world in
general?
Being just two weeks this
side of seventy, I’m from an era where togetherness was the key word for
families: togetherness at meals, togetherness for an evening’s entertainment
and learning, togetherness in all times good or bad. It seems now that every
family member is entitled to their own inviolable space. Entitled,
I tell you! Our son has three girls, and each has her own bedroom. The
girls are all under six, so there aren’t yet any “go to your room” orders, or
even their own desire to get away from the rest of the bunch - but they’re
getting older every day. Of course, the parents have their own suite, and
there’s a small guest suite on the first floor. Five bedrooms: gotta have ‘em!
I’d better not complain too loudly: I may need that guest suite one day. But
you know what I’m getting at here.
The size of the average
American family home is increasing – doesn’t every home need a living room, a
great room, a playroom, a media room, a billiards room, and maybe a
gym? Our son’s home has four of those six, yet along with those five
bedrooms it’s one of the smaller houses in his golf club community. I ask
you! But why not, it’s what up-and-comers do these days. And I
really shouldn’t comment, because they are doing so well. But
it just chews at my conscious. Though I’m sure it is mainly doing what they
think best for their family, it all seems to me to be the eternal keeping up
with the Joneses, the maintaining face, if you will, and the showing themselves
that they’re all right Jack. Seems to me it might be our fault for not
instilling simpler values in them. It’s a vicious cycle, and many parents
will probably be lamenting about this for eons.
Well, that’s off my chest
for now – but I’ll probably still stew about it later on in life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
June 5, 2015 - - I must bring you up to date on our son’s home. It now sports a new salt water pool with waterfalls and a hot tub, and a huge patio that connects to the new three-car garage with laundry room, lavatory, and an outdoor shower. Every home’s gotta have those, doncha know. I think I’ll put a reminder on my calendar to see how things progress in the next two and a half years. As I said at the end of the piece, I’m still stewing. One never knows.
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